The Hunter's Journal

So, ya know I have a Patreon. But now I also have a Fiverr account because making time bits of money here and there helps. Some, anyway.

I'd work outside the home on gig things, but.... I don't have a car, so that's a thing that needs to be fixed, and then I can work gigs outside the house. Because while Uber/Lyft are slave economies, this is something that I may have to do until I can start making enough money to actually survive and not just float.

But, there are problems with gig economy jobs. Namely, it takes a while to get established, so patience is necessary, even when you want it right fucking now.

I'm hoping that I can get a few gigs here and there, and that I can maybe make a little bit of extra money, so that I can begin paying bills, and paying people back. Also need to call the attorney today and see where we're at there, since I haven't received any paperwork at all. Never mind, having just checked my email, I see where he told me to sit tight for three weeks.... a week ago.

So, I've been editing my STeampunk manuscript and still have no good title for it. I'm about to start calling it "Demons and Dirigibles" Just because it sounds funny. However, I shouldn't, so I won't.

Life continues apace. I haven't heard from the flash fiction that I attempted to submit. Not sure if that will be accepted or rejected. I am thinking, though, that gathering rejections shows that I am trying. It shows that the writing is worth something, not just sitting on a harddrive somewhere being stagnant.

Son is having some issues that we're currently working through. It means more work for me, but I don't mind. He's still my woobie, and that's all that matters (yes, he's 22, no I don't care).

So back to editing for me. After I edit the first time, I'll work on something else, then edit a second time before worrying about a rewrite. I think that'll work the best for me.

I promise, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. If you read my IJ you know that there has been STRESS in my life the last couple of weeks. Between kids and government agencies and... yeah. STRESS OMG.

Anyway, I have been writing, though probably not on what I should have been. However, I'm coming to the realization that writing is writing and that I need to keep in that mindset, because otherwise, I'm sabotaging myself.

Beyond having a broken brain (and by broken I mean broken okay?) I've had a lot of outside stress that seems to have eased off for the time being.

Maybe.

It's been so bad that looking at writing/crafting of any sort has been panic attack inducing.

Which is something me and the doc are going to have to talk about tomorrow.

Anyway.

That's the State of Cat right now. It's not good, but it's not as horrific as it was at 8am this morning either.

(At 8am, I was contemplating spending the day in nonreality with drugs again, but I didn't. Go me.)

Soooo yeah. Hi DW.

This post, actually, started out in my head as a 'Why I do NaNoWriMo' post. However, I was talking with a friend over IMs, and realized I don't, really, need to get into why I do NaNoWriMo. Mostly, because it boiled down to just a few words:

Because I want to.

Perhaps not the most adult answer, but the most honest one.

However, I thought that I'd answer a question that my friend asked me:

"Why do challenges all year long? Isn't NaNo enough?"

Well, I'm going to answer the latter question first: No, NaNo isn't enough. See; although the franticness of November includes NaNo and Thanksgiving, it isn't enough to keep me going all year long.

So, this past year, I experimented with giving myself guidelines and a schedule to keep. Some of that schedule got skewed along the way (this past summer I didn't have nearly as much writing time as I thought) but all in all, I worked a lot better with the schedule, than I did without.

It's also why my personal journal ends up being more of a 'what needs to be done today' list than an actual journal. Although today I tl;dr-ed all over the place.

Yes, I make lists. If I don't, nothing gets done. No, seriously, nothing gets done. I look down and it's 10am. I look up and it's 3.30 and all I've managed to get done is lose horribly at spider solitaire a lot.

Frankly, that's not a skill that I should flaunt.

The lists keep me on track. But, here's the thing: Even lists aren't enough to keep me motivated. So, I look around for things to keep my brain moving and keep me from getting bored with what I have to do to improve my writing.

That is where my competitive streak comes in. See, I cannot let other people 'beat' me. I cannot roll over and let them 'win' at anything, even if it's something so silly as creating something that I neither have the skill nor the patience to create.

I join challenges to keep me going. I join challenges so that I can point to something and say "I beat that!" I'm sure this points to something psychological or something, but I just use it as a motivational tool.

There are some other pretty hefty reasons, but those are personal and this is a writing blog. Back to the writing:

Challenges keep me from stagnating and playing so much spider solitaire that I explode my computer out of sheer frustration. That means that at the end of the week/month/day/whatever, I have something to point to and say... "I did that."

Now, to give updates on my various challenges: ( Challenges )

So, this entry has become very long and pretty much a big ego stroke for me. However, I believe creators - be it in writing, cooking, fabric crafts or anything else - have the need to stroke their own egos every once in a while.

I know several writers who do it. They do it unashamedly. I'm trying to follow their good examples. Now, if I could just get something published? Then, you'd really see some ego stroking!

So, I've got plots bouncing around in my brain. Considering NaNo was "fandom with the serial numbers filed off" I'm not real worried about that aspect of it.

However, I know that the plots are really contrived and cliché. Meaning that I'd have to work with them through some reworkings to get them to something that might be of interest for people to read.

Considering that I've spent the last two days writing Bleach/X-Men fic, I really have no room to talk.

Well, let's talk about contrived plots:

- Long lost noble - FOUND! Seriously, this has been done so many times that it's really a trope. It's how noblemen/heroes in fandom get surprise!kids, and how unsavory nobles are deposed, by the triumphant return of their neglected offspring. (Chris Paolini anyone?)
- Ostracized noble family regains honor Do I have to explain this one? It'll be something about the last heir going undercover/on an epic journey and reclaiming that which was taken from them by an evil rival or something.
- Baby adopted in, but ousted by natural born child Again, do I have to explain? This is such a joke that I'm not sure I could even finish a story with this even as a subplot.

I had a few others, but mostly it's the first one that's caught my attention recently. I'm thinking of maybe doing that one for next year's NaNo. Since I'm pretty sure my schedule won't allow for it. Next year's pretty well mapped out. I really do wanna work on the Moon stuff. That'll get that out of the way.

I need to work out my plot for it, like I did for NaNo. It'll help me keep the story moving along. At the end, it'll be ugly as hell, but... hey, stories almost always are the first time through.

I can maybe work in another thing for April, since that's mostly looking at my NaNo ago - even though I'm doing that in March for NaNoEdMo (National Novel Editing Month) - so that month might have something that I can nudge in, if I can get a decent outline/characters.

Who knows, maybe I'll work on the Jenith/Bear stuff, or the Kenny/Max stuff. Both of those kinda fascinate me, so we'll have to see.

I know the Jenith stuff could be turned into the first trope, especially.

AND MOVING ON!

I really need to do an outline/something of the Moon!Fic. Even though that's scheduled for next month, I'm thinking I need to get to it. I have characters to outline, and a plot to think of. That's probably going to wait until after the kids are back in school, though. Kids around = writing time cut short, unfortunately.

For now, I'm going to go see if I can find my book.

Originally, I was going to start my next draft of KoO on the 1st. I'm glad I changed that to the first day of school instead. The last two days have been utter washouts when it comes to writing.

As in, I've done NONE. The days have been physically and mentally exhausting too. So, instead of working on KoO, I'm sitting here, trying to stay awake until bathtime at least and then see what's going on.

However, tomorrow, once the children are gone, I'm going to jump right back into it. I hope that, somehow, I'll make up the time and get some real work done.

... Maybe.

Okay... so...

May: Finish the edit on KoO
June: Write something (Possibly Mira, or Ari)
July: RESEARCH MONTH
August: Rewrite KoO
September: Research/writing
October: Outline Dragon Voices
November: THE DREADED NANO - Dragon Voices
December: Send out second set of "PLEASE EDIT THIS" of KoO.

... That actually looks doable. Pondering this as I go along.

I'm hoping that nothing too much comes along to screw this up. Like, ya know, LIFE. But I'm going to attempt it.

I've been thinking lately, about returning to my old routines. I need to write, in ways I cannot explain.

But, I need a routine to do it in.

That may sound strange, but there you have it. I need a set time every day, set aside for nothing but writing.

These last few weeks have had me caught up in so much other stuff that I couldn't write.

There was too much external stuff going on.

There still is a lot of external things going on. Kids are back in school though, and that should give me time to actually work on my writing.

Frankly, I hate to be mean, but my new room mate is going to have to respect the headphones, as well as all the kids. My kids are trained to respect the headphones and know what they mean. They mean Mom Is Working.

I know my new room mate will though. She understands how important the writing is to me. And I won't totally cut myself off. We have the lounge to clean tomorrow, and then we'll see what happens. I plan on putting on my headphones on my head, with my MP3 player and seeing if that helps.

I haven't decided just who I'm going to be writing yet. But it's definitely between Ari and Mira/Hyst. I might look through tonight to see what jumps out at me.

I want to finish up a couple old ideas, before I start worrying about new ones.

See, I have some world building to do. A lot of world building. I'm going to be putting some of it up here, but a lot will be going up on my IJ, under the writing tag/group.

I'll be putting up links here, to whatever it is I use that's an online resource.

I do however want to give a good resource. See, writing doesn't mean that you have lots of money. I've been using AbeBooks to search online used book stores! C'mon used books! That's awesome.

Tomorrow, I'm returning to routine and starting to write again.

Just need to figure out who.