Jul. 11th, 2019

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I have lovely friends on plurk, but I don't need them to fix anything. I just want to bitch.

I'm fat. I know, you're shocked. But I thought cutting my calories and going to the gym would mean that I would lose some weight. It hasn't. I'm still 313lbs, (just over 22 stone for you Brits) and haven't lost a single pound.

I know muscle weighs more than fat, but it's very discouraging, if you're trying to lose weight and doing all the right things and you're still not getting anywhere.

And, I know it takes time and effort, but I thought a couple of pounds would have come off already. Not much, but maybe enough to put me closer to 300? That's not a lot to ask, is it?

Anyway, I know I have a ton of things working against me. I have three medications that have weight gain attached, and they are not medications I can just stop. One of them evens out the brainmeats and makes it so I can function. The other medications? Eh. I can take or leave.

I also have a whole host of medical diagnoses:

- Fibromyalgia
- Diabetes
- Rheumatoid Arthritis
- Bipolar 2
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- Social Phobia
- Sleep Apnea
- Narcolepsy

Those are just the ones I can remember right now. I'm sure I'll come back and add to them.

So, all these things are working against me, and I'm trying to get in better shape to alleviate some of the issues. And like, I know my eating habits are still bad? But they're better. And that counts, dammit.

Sigh. I just... I'm frustrated and want things to go right.

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