I've just finished Wandfasted by Laurie Forest. Not a bad book. I liked it? But like, it left me unfulfilled, and maybe that's because I wanted something more and I don't even know what that more is.

So; reading, leaving me unfulfilled because my brain can't decide what it wants! Hurray!

On the writing front...

Demons and Dirigibles is still going. I haven't finished it, though I wanted to by the end of May. I'm going to work the next few days, but I doubt it'll be done before the middle of June. Then, it'll be ready for me to save up money and find an editor. Because I've decided I really do need an editor. First developmental, then line. And it'll depend on who I find, who I look at... So, yeah.

I haven't, really, edited on The Crown lately, because I'm looking at other people to do some editing for me. I'm... not sure they will, at least not sure what they will see in the piece, but I'm hoping, hoping to get some good feedback from them, and then incorporate that and work on my own edits.

I am doing semi well. The new job is going great. I worked from home this week (not my fave) because the HVAC was being renovated, but I'm back in office on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to that. It'll be a short week, but whatever.

I'm enjoying the job, and that's what matters most. I hope, anyway. I hope people are enjoying having me there, even if I'm a bit weird.

The cats are okay. Menace is stretched out next to me, Scotty is in the window downstairs. Surt and Piper are off doing Very Important Cat Business.

So, that's it from here.

So, let's just list things.

1. Demons and Dirigibles This is going. I've made it to the Warsaw scenes, and want someone far more familiar with them to look them over, but not until I'm done with them. Which I'm not. But, I may need a reader to look at it and say "Yes, this is plausible".

2. The Crown Whhyyyyyyyyy is this like pulling teeth?! I need to edit it and rewrite it, and add in scenes that need to be drafted. But just looking at it makes me whine and hate it and want to just cry with do not want.

3. Bluesky I am on Bluesky under the user name "errantwritings". I prefer it to Twitter/X because it's not nearly as overwhelming. I can curate my little corner and be fine.

4. Money I... there's so much I could say here, but like, I'm not sure that anyone cares or that I can put it here without sounding like I'm looking for a handout which I'm not. I'm just looking for advice/thoughts. Maybe I'll make it a friends only post. Maybe. I dunno.

5. Life I've been struggling lately and fully admit that most of it is my fault. That doesn't make the struggle any less, but that's where I'm at. I'm doing "okay" in that I'm alive, semi healthy and able to have a job, but that's about it. Ugh.

I'm loving my new job. I didn't even realize what time it was tonight, when I started a project and when I got stuck I'm like "Holy shit it's 455!" I leave at 5.

This is the best case scenario. Don't get me wrong, I have already seen some gnarly shit, but... they're liking me! The dude next to me and I have bonded over Magic the Gathering (and my hatred of it) and comics and the MCU.

The girl in front of me have bonded over the need to have FIVE GABILLION PILLOWS on the bed.

Anyway, I'm loving this job.

I plan on baking them things, maybe. I dunno. I'm just having so much fun!

Hear me out.

I want to apply to the EWU MFA in Creative Writing program. It's two years long, and then, I can set my sights on something else. But I've wanted to do this for a while.

Now!

Applications are closed for the fall. They closed on March 1st. That's fine. I can wait until Next Fall to go back. The thing that's really giving me pause is the 15-25 pages of "publishable" writing that is needed.

Can I come up with it? Yes.
Is it publishable? Eeeeeeh. I can edit between now and then, though.
Is it genre fiction? Yes.

See, I don't write "literary fiction" much. I really don't. And I have to come up with 15-25 pages of it now. Not only that, but it needs to be "publishable". I put that in quotes because EWU does the same.

It's giving me pause, because being judged on my writing is hard for me. I am planning on putting "Step" in the group of writing, because it was published. That's a step in the right direction, right?

I also have pause because they don't want genre fiction. I write genre fiction. That's pretty much my bread and butter. I write it and then I edit it and then.... well, usually it sits, but lately I've sent out a few pieces?

I just... don't know. Nothing else is giving me pause. It's a good program, and hopefully, I can work while going to school. Plus, there's getting letters of recommendation. Who do I even ask? The 800 word letter stating why I want the MFA is easy. I could do that practically in my sleep. But the rest of it?

And I need to edit all my "literary fiction" so that it's publishable quality. Well, except "Step". I'm working on edits, writing new things, and rewriting things every day.

It's not going well.

Ugh. This is complicated with things from Sam's side too. I know he wants to go back to school to become a nurse, and both of us going at once is a Bad Idea, but I don't know when he's going to go. Which is why I might just "do it".

... Anyone want to edit my stuff for me?

So; to update:

The Job: Still sketchy as hell, but I'm setting hard boundaries, and won't allow them to break them. Even though I'm sitting on my laptop at my desk, when I should be working. But, ya know what? If they wanted me to do stuff, they'd give me a list. I'm not hounding customers to upgrade/change when they're not even moved in yet!

Writing: Going well, really. I write before work and at lunch. So, writing is going apace, even if editing and rewriting isn't. I need to work on Demons, and on Boybands, honestly. Boybands needs finished editing, Demons needs rewritten. I'm not sure when that's going to happen, but it will. Eventually. I swear.

Home: We're moved and our former apartment wants $3200 for "damages" to the property. We'll pay it, when we're on our feet a bit more. But not all at once! And really, $3200?? All because we "didn't clean". I cannot believe she said that! We busted our asses cleaning!

Health: More and more lately, I don't think the modafinil (what I take to keep me awake) is working very well. It works, but like, I still nap, I still want to sleep all the time. I've been on it for six years? Maybe SEVEN! So, it might be time to change things up and put me on something else. Going to talk to the doc about it a week from Monday when I go in.

Other people: Son is doing well. He didn't have Speech today, but he does next week. His therapist is impressed with how well he does. I'm glad that he's communicating more. Not all the time, but more and that's what I want. Sam is not working, which hurts right now. Seems we can't get both of us working at once! He's trying to get in as Son's caretaker, and Dad's caretaker, so that he'll get paid for taking them places and doing things. Like their laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, etc. It'll be nice, but it depends on how many hours a week they get. Son gets 10. That's it, but it's enough to take him to doc appointments, speech and get some things done.

Other stuff: It's 4pm (well, 411) as I sit and write this on my laptop on my desk. I think my tenants have bugged out for the day, and I'm stuck here until at least 459pm until I can clock out.

Religion: I did get my altar shelf set up, so that's a thing that's happening. Once I find my altar stuff, I will put it on said shelf, and have a nice place for the Morrigan and Cernunnos to watch over me from. I need a raven statue though. Ravens and other corvids have been playing a deep part of my dreams/thoughts lately, and I think I need to incorporate them more. Not sure how just yet, but somehow. I'm really leaning into the raven bit, but it's hard to find stuff that speaks and says "Yes, me." to me. I'll troll etsy and see what I can find.

Aesthetics: Ravens, Wolves and Dragons seem to be my aesthetics now. Which is fine by me, I'm just amused. I need to start leaning into it. Honestly, having a few necklaces and earrings would be nice? But I can't afford the really nice ones, so maybe I'll wait? I dunno. I also want pins! So many pins. They go on my bags. I have one that says "I'm not a damsel in distress, I'm a dragon in a dress" which is just fun for me. (Especially since I'm wearing a skirt today)

Anyway, think that's about the update from here. I need a haircut and to color my hair. I dunno what color, but color it. Not something real fun, but something I can toy with. Which leaves a lot of leeway.

Anyway! How's y'all doing?

I don't write here much. Not because I'm snobby or whatever, but because I never have a long enough update to "justify" being put here.

Stupid isn't it?

Anyway, things I need to put in:

Lights: I string a lot of fairy lights around my room. My plan for today is to get some of the 180+ feet of fairy lights up in my room. Why? Because then, when I'm sitting here in the dark, it isn't so dark.

Clothing: So, I broke my closet because my clothing is heavy and dragged the rod/shelf down. So, I have to pick up my clothing and redistribute it throughout the closet so that it's not on the floor anymore.

Pictures: I'm hoping to get more pictures up this weekend. Depends on the lights, really. Because if the lights take all the hangers, then we'll have to go buy more. If not, I can hang some pictures and make this place look like a home.

Bookshelves: So, despite buying three more and putting them up, we still need at least two more bookshelves downstairs and two upstairs. (One in my room, one in Son's) I'm hoping that's enough. We don't have the money to do this now, but it's important to write it down.

Writing: I'm trying to find time to write but the stress of the move? That's killed any drive to write that I have. I'm trying to write like 100 words per day or something and it's just not going well. So, hopefully this weekend, I'll get some words in.

Editing: Hoping to edit this weekend too. I've got the manuscript partially edited, but need to finish that, and then move on to rewriting it. I have Steampunk to rewrite, but I had to move instead.

Crochet: With Joann's going out of business, Sam and I went and spent some money at Joann's. We got yarn and crochet hooks and decided that we wanted crochet blankets. Which, fine. I can crochet while hockey is one and I have been! Just ever start a project and then look down the long barrel of how long it's actually going to take? Yeah, that's where I'm at. But, the project is going well, and I'm halfway through my first ball of yarn.

So, that's how things are going here. How're things with you?

We're... in. The other place is a wreck and I'm exhausted. But we go back tomorrow and work more.

I'm just... exhausted and want to NOT this week, but can't. HAve so much to do.

Mostly it's cleaning and packing the rest of stuff.

Sigh. I wish there was someone who could help.

So, I went with one friend to the hockey game and another friend (I HAVE MORE THAN ONE) to the Museum of Illusion! It was neat, see inside the cut for some pics:

( Museum of Illusion )

I am sitting in my hotel room, pondering when to leave for Climate Pledge arena. I have things to do here in Seattle today, but tomorrow do I go to the Space Needle?

I can go before my flight, since that doesn't happen until 345? Something like that. Then, I have to be at the airport about 1-130.

But, there will be pics when I return, because I have a snazzy hotel room, a semi-nice view, and will be at the hockey game starting at noon.

So many pics of the arena

Hope everyone else is good.

Chronic illness. It doesn’t magically go away. It doesn’t take a day off. And still, people with chronic illnesses are expected to be productive members of society, to be “good” workers, parents, children.

So, if you’ve been on the internet for any length of time, you’re familiar with spoon theory. The metaphor that says that for every action, a spoon is expended.

What people sometimes forget, though, is that fun stuff requires a spoon too – sometimes more than one! Meaning that, writing, crochet, editing… those are all spoons we need to account for in our day and somedays… it’s just not there. Kids, jobs, pets, feeding ourselves, all of them take spoons that sometimes we have, and sometimes we don’t.

I, myself, live with at least one physical chronic illness. Then, there’s the mental illnesses, the unknown factors that are still being tested…. My spoons run on a deficit on a good day. On a bad one? There is a deficit like the US National Debt.

So, how do I write? How do I find the energy, the spoons, what-have-you to do the writing that my mind always says need to be done?

The most truthful answer: I don’t know. There is no one fix-all for everyone. So, here’s what I do:

When I get up in the morning, my mind goes over the activities for the day. Writing is always at the top of the list, because I went to school to write dammit, and I plan on doing that! So that’s a spoon, that is reserved. Then, there’s job, kid, cleaning, cooking, walking to the bus and back. And those all take spoons. Then, on top of all that, there’s the cats and the things I want to do: video games, crochet, cross stitch. The problem, of course, is there’s a hierarchy of needs, and video games, crochet and cross stitch just aren’t high on the hierarchy.

Most people don’t have the choice to reserve that spoon for writing. I know how lucky I am. I also know that people have different levels of spoons, different priorities. I’m not here to tell you “well, if you really wanted to” which is a phrase that I find disingenuous at best. Sometimes, life just doesn’t let you. I’ve had days where the most I could muster energy for after work was lying awake in bed, staring at the wall.

And let me tell you, if that’s all the spoons ya got? GO FOR IT

Even if you write for work, this should be fun. Remember fun? Right, you need that again.

Everyone should also be familiar with the Konmari Method. If not, there’s a link to it.

In my opinion, writing should spark joy. You should be eager to sit down and do it. You should want to do it. Otherwise, why are you here? “Because everyone on the internet is a writer”? Is that why you signed up to challenge yourself?

Chronic illnesses make some things impossible, some things harder, and some things feel overwhelming. To go outside on a day when the brain is rebelling is… difficult to say the least, does not spark joy and whoops there goes a handful of spoons.

But this is possible. Whether you have a word pledge or habit pledge. I believe in you, and I’ll continue to do so.

Now, what do you do to spark that joy and get yourself writing, despite health challenges?